Posted by: misfit.on.isle.4 | October 15, 2009

long time no blog?

I feel that I should use my blog as a means to an end. So I’ve decided its time I chose a specific subject to blog about. That subject will be….. dun dun duuuuuun

World Challenge ’10: Indian Himalaya (Y)

So its not my nature to plan things, I thought well, maybe I should. So I will. Probably badly, but that aside, I haven’t written in ages, my life is slowly falling off the rails and the only person who can do anything about that is me. So I am going to write about the Himalayas and school, since the Himalayas is through school. Meh. Anyway i’m hoping I can motivate myself to blog more. Not that anyone actually reads this jazz anyway. So, without further ado, I guess I’d best get on with it.

First things first, Friday. Last Friday. If ‘lol’ were appropriate to my blog, now would be the time to use it because last Friday was so funny. Anyway, no details on that because its censored (hahaha). Long and short is that my team, Pala-Barpha, met up for a social at the house of one of our members. Alcohol and amusement ensued, but no one got drunk so its slightly different to the kind of ‘party’ I am used to. Which I think is good.

So, here we go. That off my chest, ramblings ended, down to business J

This coming weekend we are meeting at nat’s house to practice the erection (hahaha) and breaking down of a tent. Sounds simple yes? well I for one doubt it will work out as simple as it should do because….. that is the nature of my team. We take something that is so simple it is beautiful. And turn it into a messy complicated jumble with no recognisable start or finish. So anyway

I will very cleverly use my blog as a general log and record of my fundraising efforts, group fundraisers, personal and group trainings and eventually I may type up my travel journal. J

Posted by: misfit.on.isle.4 | June 10, 2009

the beginning of a story im writing.

An ear-splitting beeping caused Grace Allen to wake with a start. Groaning she rolled over, pulling her pillow over her head to muffle her alarm clock. She hated college mornings. They always started too early and interrupted her dreams, yanking her back to reality, and with a god-awful headache to boot. Still unable to ignore the alarm even using her pillow to block the noise, she stretched out an arm in defeat, feeling around on her desk for the offending clock. She found it, snapped the button to ‘off’ and slammed it back onto the wooden desk with a hollow clunk. Then she stretched her legs out, arching her back so that her spine cracked, and yawning rolled onto her back, sitting up. She scratched her head vigorously as was her morning habit, and snaked down the bed a bit to the edge so she could slip her feet out onto the floor. The thick carpet greeted her feet, and she pushed off from the edge of the bed, standing up, stretching again. In the darkness she fumbled around until she found the shelf that her lamp stood on. She touched the base and the lamp illuminated, lighting the darkness with a soft warm glow. It revealed a medium sized room, containing an IKEA wardrobe, tallboy and desk. The carpet was a thick dark pink, complementing the paler baby pink walls, which were broken up by a pretty cream coloured 3D border with pink poppies printed on it. The wall that her window was in was pale lilac to complement the equally pale lilac of the curtains. Her bed was made of maple, and was dressed with simplistic mint green sheets, displaying a sequin and ribbon stitched pattern of embroidered flowers and butterflies on the sheer fabric appliquéd over the cotton duvet cover along the bottom half. She crossed the room to her tallboy and pulled the doors open, fumbling around for a hair band and scrunchie. She extricated them from the bag of makeup sat on her toiletries shelf and put them on top of the tallboy. Next she reached back behind the dozens of bottles and tubes and pulled out a tube of Neutrogena face wash, and her two Body Shop seaweed face creams. She pulled her small purple face towel off the radiator beneath her window, and quietly opened her door, padding out onto the landing on the balls of her feet, dodging creaky floorboards to the bathroom across from her room.

Her bedroom opened onto a small corridor that used to be the wardrobe for her room, but had been rebuilt into a passage to the bedroom of her sisters when the extension was built. The walls of which were pale cream, and bore the same pink carpet as her bedroom. The landing on the other hand was green; a pine green carpet with a pattern of small white geometric shapes every few inches in straight lines diagonally across it and mint green walls. Grace pushed the bathroom door open, and tiptoed inside, putting her armful of belongings on the toilet seat cover before turning to silently close and lock the door behind her. She reached out in the darkness for the little ceramic owl on the end of the pull-cord light switch; and cursed quietly as it bounced off her fingertips and hit the tiled wall with a crack.  She caught it on its return swing and pulled it, switching on the light. After a few seconds the ventilation fan kicked in and began to hum quietly from above the room, in the loft. Grace cleared her throat and got on with washing her face, pulling on the grey cotton hair band and clawing her short brown hair into the scrunchie. Turning on the tap, as she waited for the boiler to wake up she scrutinised herself in the cabinet mirror above the basin. Her complexion was much better after swapping from the Body Shop face wash to the Neutrogena one, and she inspected the few small spots that were left on her hairline. Happy that they were slowly disappearing, she examined her eyes. The faintest shadow of dark patches were beginning to show, and she made a mental note to bring her bedtime forward an hour or so, so that she could get rid of them before she turned into a full on panda. She inspected her nose, carefully checking for unwanted hairs and suchlike. Remembering she hadn’t checked her eyes for sleep, she gently removed the dry little molecules of dust and mucus from the corners of her eyes. By now the tap had warmed up and she pulled the plug down with the lever behind the taps, watching as the water pooled in the bottom of the sink, slowly rising, casting a pretty pattern on the ceramic bottom, where the light hit the ripples. Turning off the tap, Grace cupped her hands in the water and splashed it over her face. When she had finished washing with the warm water, as she emptied the basin, she turned on the cold tap, waiting for it to turn ice cold, and splashed her face with it, to clear the remaining grogginess from her head. Patting her face dry with the purple towel, Grace then applied her two face creams, one a generalised spot reducer and complexion improver, the other a ‘Mattifying Day cream’. When she had finished her skincare regime, Grace wrapped her creams and washes up in the small towel, and turned off the light, before unlocking and opening the door to return to her room. She unravelled the toiletries from the towel, and dried off the individual containers so they wouldn’t damage her tallboy, then put them away, sliding the towel back over the radiator. She pressed the space bar on her computer’s keyboard and it hummed as it came out of hibernation mode. She turned the speakers on and double clicked the iTunes icon opening the music program so she could put on some music. She peered out of the window from between the curtains and watched the sheets of rain beating down in the half-light. Grace smiled to herself, thinking about how everyone she knew complained when it rained and was cold, and kept it to herself that she loved the rain and cold rather than tell people to avoid being questioned. She closed the curtain back up again and opened her wardrobe contemplating what to wear. She settled on a pair of dark blue jeans with a boot cut, a baby pink Fair Trade v-neck t-shirt from Marks and Spencer, a black cashmere jumper her mum had given her and her thick fleece lined winter boots. She pulled the various items’ clothes hangers from her wardrobe, hanging them on the handle of her tallboy, and then opened her lingerie drawer. She chose a new pair of girl boxers she had purchased from La Senza, and a pair of pale pink fleecy knee high socks. She turned back to the computer and double clicked the playlist she had titled “Songs from Hayley”. Typically, the song that came on first was “You’re Beautiful” by James Blunt and she smiled at the Cliché then changed it to “Warrior’s Dance” by The Prodigy.

She touched the lamp again, to increase the power of the light so that she could apply her makeup and straighten her hair. She began with the makeup. She didn’t use foundation, as her mum had told her it was bad for girls of her age because their skin was still adjusting, so she used a light powder instead.

COPYRIGHT

Posted by: misfit.on.isle.4 | May 2, 2009

There is none so deaf as he who will not hear.

Having finally performed my drama final piece for my AS level, i feel like a weight several times heavier than my sister has been yanked off my shoulders. I am now happier concentrating upon my other exams, as I know i can essentially forget my lines and focus on revising for Biology, learning chemistry, and memorising quotes and links for English. I feel kind of happy, but i seem to be eating more than usual, so i plan to cut down so i dont gain any weight. i’ve been sleeping well too, with the assistance of some new tablets called Kalms. I worked last weekend, so I have a bit more money in the bank (although theres less now than there was a few hours ago because i put a tenner on my mobile so i dont have any more major issues with contacting people. My room is relatively tidy, and I am getting down to work. Plus my chicken has started following me, which is hilarious to watch because she sort of waddles.  Other reasons to be jovial are because ITS A THREE DAY WEEKEND!!! plenty of time to chillax (as a friend says). Anywho, I am going to clear off my bed and catch some muchly needed z’s

Posted by: misfit.on.isle.4 | April 16, 2009

stuff happens.

I have a few issues lately. For starters my best friend has for some reason turned around and called me a bitch and accused me of slagging her off behind her back to “her best friend” (who happens to also be one of my best friends). I find this interesting because this is the friend of mine who i know for a fact has frequently said hurtful things about her best friend to me, and vice versa, and now has issue with me telling her “best friend” that i dislike some of the things she does to me, like get angry with no reason and turn round and kick me so hard on the shin that it leaves a purple welt for more than three weeks. that in my honest and humble opinion is not bitching or slagging her off, that is talking to a trusted friend who shares a close friendship with the same person about a problem and asking her for advice. She has decided that im not trustworthy and hasnt spoken to me for almost three weeks, but i have mourned the loss of one of my greatest and most trusted friends and moved on to worrying about more pressing issues, like my A levels. im close to failing three out of four of them so i spent the past fortnight doing the work.

and i mean that. I have done a little bit of work for 80% of the holiday. im proud of myself because usually i dont do any til the very last minute and ive done almost all my homework and a good chunk of revision to boot. anyway, im also worried about my body and my self image yadda yadda yadda as per usual.

im cheerful though because i have seen a little glimmer of hope in my otherwise depressing life because having spoken to family (cousin, nana, aunt etc.) im more optimistic about myself because i feel less insignificant reading magazines full of airbrushed beautiful flawless people, due to a conversation about how no one is like that in real life. :)

im a little worried about not having any shifts at work too, but im going to ring them tomorrow and ask about any availabilities tomorrow because i need the hours for my fundraising and also because i have decided to save a little so that i can get myself a few more clothes so i can do a bit of layering and feel pretty. and i admit im going to treat myself to some pretty underwear because pretty underwear gives me an invisible confidence boost. although i dont know why. its funny.

for now though thanks to the undying friendship of Kate and Vix I feel like a whole new me! :D

im better than before, a little more confident and i am going to get myself a good man before the end of the year! my mantra for now:

I am worth it

i AM worth it

i am WORTH it

i am worth IT

:)

.~:~.x.~:*:~.x.~:~.

Posted by: misfit.on.isle.4 | February 26, 2009

Off The Rails?

Im not one to be particularly melodramatic, but i feel that recently (aside from leaving my blog to go dusty and fall into the archives of a forgotten history) i have been feeling incomplete. I just dont feel right. I was absent from school yesterday because it caused a lot of unneccessary hassle to arrange the neccesary transport. Mum had a training day in Cheltenham and had to leave at half seven (when i usually get up). That meant i had to get up at seven and get the kids up for her, brekfast them and then walk them to the bus stop. From there i was meant to be getting a lift to sixth form with my neighbour, Natasha. I had a grand total of four lessons (one of which never really amounts to anything due to it’s placing withing the timetable) so it felt more like three lessons. I needed to be home to pick up my youngest brother and sister at half past three, so that meant missing last lesson. Wednesdays are a less educational day than all the other days on my timetable because usuall on wednesdays there are very few sixthformers with lessons. So to fill the delapidated old buildings they drag year 7 up to the Gloucester Road site for “Castle Challenge”. I dont know what they do, but it seems pretty pointless. Kind of like “Enrichment” and “General Studies” in which we study things like culture religion and politics (the most boring subject on earth. No structure, and no universities even acknowledge it as a proper qualification (not that im saying it is, but isnt it a bit pointless having to spent two hours a week on something that wont actually be recognised when we could use the time to revise for things that DO get recognised?) Anyway, so yesterday i stayed off because if i had gone to sixth form i would have had to then buy a bus ticket home, and at five pound a go i dont really thing i can actually afford it truth be told.

Today i stayed off because lately i havent been sleeping well even when utilising sleeping pills. it got better for about a week then went cruddy again so i stopped taking them. in hindsight i think im going to start taking them again though, because i do kind of need the sleep as proven this morning when i woke up and just couldnt face sixth form. I wasnt right in myself and that coupled with being behind in chemistry, exhausted from lack of sleep, and my current state of mind mixed up a lovely little recipe for disaster. regardless of how dissapproving mum was. So i spent about half an hour after mum left for work sitting in the kitchen-diner eating a bowl of cheerios with honey and milk. the honey idea came from nana, whose partner is vegetarian and always has honey on his brekfast. I then retreated upstairs and cleared off my desk. i cant remeber where i crammed everything that was on it, but i think it all went in the second drawer of my desk which i cleared out so i could go through my stationary. I need to rethink the desk though. at the moment, aside from all my chemistry books papers and bits and pieces, there is an inbox-outbox type wire frame thing, like for sorting papers out, two lamps (because the bulb broke on one of them) a 90’s CD player and a wooden mannequin holding my favourite necklaces. Oh, and my favourite recent ornament: a blue glass penguin about fifteen cm high; a birthday present from my best friend. Anyway, the Cd player, paper sorter, and two lamps are taking up an impractical amount of space, and making the desk seem cluttered. So basically i need to move them. The trouble is where to? Anyway, im drifting totally off course.

I stayed home today and spent the whole day from about 9 til now working on my chemistry. Because theres a test tomorrow. And for about an hour and a half around lunch i watched the end of an episode of Bones, two episodes of Scrubs and the end of an episode of Fresh Prince Of Bel Air (just to take a trip down memory lane). Mum got home around half two, and now im down to only fifteen more child-free moments of quiet, serene tranquility before my sister and brother return from Primary school.

I am relatively happy though, as i have made more progress with my self-help in the education category, than i had hoped to have made. And tomorrow I am going back to sixth form. Grateful for my extra two days R and R.

I feel like im going a bit mad though, because i dont feel right, but i dont know whats causing the feeling either. its almost like that kind of pain that builds up so slowly that you dont know where it originated from. Im not really sure how to deal with it, and i am a little uncomfortable with it because i dont know whether its actually physically something wrong or whether its all in my head and im just making a big thing of something that isnt that big. or in fact isnt even there. I guess im just not coping so great at the moment and i just need to relax a bit more than i am at present. Still, time will show whether im a raving lunatic or that its just a misnomer and im just misunderstanding myself. which is suprisingly possible since i have misunderstood myself on previous accounts.

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